Tips for Choosing a Care Home
A good percentage of us will
reach the rather sad stage when we have to put one, or both, of our parents
into a care home or nursing home. Usually this happens over a period
of time when you're persuading them for their best interests. The unfortunate
reality is that most old people do not want to go voluntarily into a care
home but they reach a point when they cannot safely look after themselves
any more.
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They worry about the loss
of independence and privacy, plus they can think its "God's waiting room",
and this must be so depressing to face, so you've got to pull out all the
stops to reassure them. It can be extremely difficult, especially
when you may have all your own concerns that everything will be all right.
Add to your own doubts the
sense of guilt that you are not offering them a roof over their head and
care with you in your home, and this can make it such a stressful time.
Many couples do have an elderly parent living with them very happily and
successfully. I think you know yourself, and you know your parent,
as to whether it will work and whether you can do it. |
Respite Care
A good idea is to first test
the water and perhaps when you go on holiday use the respite care that
many homes offer. This will only be temporary and your Mum or Dad
will know that, so that will give them a little peace of mind, knowing
it is not forever. In fact many elderly people have gone into respite
care and liked it so much, they've decided they do want to be looked after
and are then keen to make the first steps. It obviously depends on
which home you choose, how the staff treat them, their interaction with
the whole situation. Of course it can have the opposite effect and
discourage them for life!! |
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Making a short-list of potential
Care Homes
Once the decision to place your
elderly parent in a care home is made, you have to move fairly quickly,
or maybe they have to go into a home as a matter of urgency e.g. after
a bad fall, or after a stay in hospital. You can obtain a list of
homes in the area you want and run by your local authority, Age UK will
help you with this and have a series of leaflets you can send for free
of charge from Making a Will to Leisure & Learning in old age!!
These are full of good advice. You can obtain a list of private homes
from a directory or Age UK, most private homes also deal with the local
authority. Some residents are full fee paying and the Local Authority
partially or wholly funds some. However, it is practice to
ensure that none of the residents are made aware of which |
category they all fall into,
thus saving any ill-feeling between residents and caregivers.
That to look for when visiting
your short-list of Care Homes
You can visit as many care homes
as you wish, they will usually be pleased to see you and show you rooms
they have available, what activities and facilities they have, how many
staff to resident ratio there is, costs, which doctors, chiropodists, hairdressers
serve them. It is an expanding business now and many homes are in
chains, owned by the same family or person. They are inspected on
a regular basis and you should try and pick one that has been awarded "Excellence"
for care, food, cleanliness and the day to day running of the home.
Of course in every walk of life there are some bad ones, which are not
always noticeable straightaway, but if there's a smell or bad feel about
the place, plus the residents are extra quiet or do not look too happy,
or if they are withdrawn about answering questions or disclosing certain
criteria.
The office administration
has to be efficient also, it is a business after all. Usually you will
pay into an account ‘spending money’ for your parent and any expenses they
incur will be deducted from this, and topped up as and when necessary.
Residents usually spend very little, hairdressing and chiropody, being
the main charges.
| The rooms have to be ensuite,
as an elderly person cannot be expected to go into a corridor to answer
calls of nature in the middle of the night. Enough wardrobe and cupboard
space is essential and it is a well-known fact that the elderly like to
hang onto personal possessions and favourite things. Consider if there
is somewhere for them to put photos of family, any flowers that are bought
for them and other memorabilia. Basically your are looking for a comfortable
area in which they can spend their twilight years. Although the average
length of stay in a care home is unfortunately only eighteen months!!
A good working lift, well-equipped
kitchen, efficient laundry or laundry service are necessary. Look
at the breakfast, lunch and dinner/tea menus to see if there is a good
variety. Ask how often drinks are served as old people can get easily
dehydrated, do they serve fruit and snacks too throughout the day, as little
and often is the way old people eat, not being able to digest large meals. |
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To promote a sense of good mood
and well-being the communal rooms should be well lit, or light and airy
and not have chairs in a circle, as is the picture we have of old peoples'
homes but more a feel of a hotel atmosphere, where the guests are all in
their dotage. A good mix of men and women, although you are likely
to find the ratio weighted towards women, as they do outlive the so-called
superior sex!!
A pleasant outside area is
also a must for warmer days, with comfortable seating and flowers and shrubs
to look at. Having a minibus on hand for visits to theatres, days
out, hospital visits if relatives cant oblige, is another important benefit
of a good care home. As is having a good supply of wheelchairs so
no-one has to struggle or wait to visit the toilet in the day, and if relatives
wish to take their loved ones out for a local walk and a visit to a coffee
shop, or for use to take them further afield.
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Check out details of events,
residents' birthday parties, musical entertainment, keep fit in chairs,
as all this all goes to show it is a caring and stimulating environment.
Also, check visiting arrangements, as being able to visit at any time unannounced
is important, so they cannot "get ready" for your arrival.
There are a lot more pro's
and con's you can look for and will see for yourself. Of course there
is no guarantee when all looks good on the surface, unsuitable |
practices may be uncovered and
hopefully a move to another care home will be avoidable, as this is too
much for our gentlefolk to take in their stride and can often be the last
straw.
I would recommend that talking
to the other residents to see if they like it and are happy there, is an
essential element of evaluating a care home. In addition talk to
other people with aging parents, elderly care agencies and support groups,
and go on recommendations from others, often this is the best endorsement
for a good home.
Good luck with your search.
One thing to remember is that older people can suffer delusion and dementia
and imagine events that have not happened. During visits they may
tell you they are being hit, force-fed or bullied. You must obviously
investigate any allegations which may or may not be true, as I am afraid
if you read the press, this does happen in a small minority of homes, but
often this may be attention seeking, a cry for help if they're rebelling
from being in a care home. Most residents accept their life and do
become institutionalized but content enough. It all depends on their
attitude, state of mind, even age. I found the younger they were
on entry, the more adaptable they were.
We must always remember,
"It might be me one day".
Caring for our elderly is
an important social aspect of our society, and our aging parents and relatives
should receive the respect, dignity and devotion they have given us in
caring for us in our early years.
By Janice L. Joplin
Nursing
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